How to Come out of Religion

Several months ago I came across a fantastic interview with therapist Paige Palmer on The How-To-Heretic podcast Episode 5 entitled “Quantum of BullSh**t.” It was such a helpful interview, providing extremely practical tips on how best to navigate the path out of religion, that I went ahead and summarized it into bullet points, and added some of my own comments to this excellent conversation.

Leaving religion can be hugely stressful and traumatic, and is an extremely difficult decision to make — once you realize that you’ve lost your former belief system. There’s every chance that you’ll lose your relationships with friends and family; you may well experience shunning, emotional blackmail, attempts to manipulate you back into the fold via passive-aggressive behavior, physical violence, etc.

What is important to understand in this connection is that for those still within the religious system or cult group, your leaving represents a tremendous threat to their own sense of security and well-being. If it happened to you, then it could well happen to them. They may view you as an “intellectual or spiritual contagion” that, like a deadly virus, can spread quickly and do a great amount of damage unless stopped in its tracks. They may well reason that the best way to do that is to cut their losses and forsake their relationship with you, lest you infect them.